do you ever drop something and instead of picking it back up you just stare at it on the ground and think about what a failure you are
"You’re a girl so act like one". Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize my vagina came with a terms and conditions manual.
i wish i was rich so when there was crumbs in my bed i could just buy a new one
if ur a humor blog u should reblog my selfies bc theyre a joke
But, even if you’re not fat, if you’re a woman, you’re probably still so caught up with your toxic weight shit that you can’t even see straight. During my working life I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been part of these ridiculous workplace group diets. Almost all of the participants have been women. Sometimes they even try to bribe one another with money. They all put in ten dollars on the first week and whoever loses the most wins the pool at the end of 4 months, or whatever it is. Look, I’m like you. I’ve done it too. And at a perfectly normal, healthy weight I’ve done it. All because of a sick, shitful, ugly little voice in the back of my head that tells me I ought to be smaller.
And that’s the rub, right there. Exactly why do we want to be smaller? What exactly is the appeal of being smaller? How does it benefit us? Does it make us better mothers? Better students? Better lovers? Better artists? Scientists? Friends? Does it make us more badass badasses?
No, no, no, no, no. You must see that it doesn’t. It doesn’t do anything but make us smaller.
Babies and puppies are small. So are dimes and Skittles. You’re a fucking woman. A woman! You are entitled to occupy as much fucking space as you like with your awesomeness, and you better be suspicious as fuck of anybody who tells you differently.
Why, ladies? Why must we continue to whittle ourselves down? Who is it for? What is it for? You can walk through a certain aisle at the pharmacy or at the grocery store and see the language of diminishment all over the packaging for weight loss aids of all kinds. “Shrink your waist.” “Lose inches off your thighs.” “Slim down.” “Get skinny.”
How about “Grow your mind.” “Increase your confidence and productivity.” “Beef up your knowledge.” “Enlarge your scope of asskicking.”
That’s a valid message for women and girls: grow, expand, branch out, open up, get bigger, wider, faster, stronger, better, smarter. Go up not down. Get strong, not skinny.
You are not here to get smaller. You are not here to have a thin waist and thighs. You are not here to disappear. You’re here to change the world! Change the fucking world, then! Forget about “losing a few pounds.” Think about what you could be gaining instead."
I have 3 moods
• I feel like shit
• I look like shit
• I have to shit
You’re forgetting “I am the shit”
that’s not a mood, it’s a life style
dude i wonder what your penis feels like inside of me.. no homo though just wondering
this is so fuckin homo
nah man i said no homo… football u know„ beer„ BOOBS… fuck me with your dick.. but remember NO homo though keep that in mind
Boys are scary. They go from “aw, you’re adorable” to “send me butt pics & sit on my face” in 2 seconds and I can’t handle that transition
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
ANimal: *licks its own asshole*
yes i am a girl yes i kill people